It is 4:30 am and the alarm clock rings. For a brief moment, I consider staying in bed and envy those who don’t have to be at the office until 8 o’clock today. I only got back from the mountains late night, but the only train that gets me to Sellrain before midday leaves from Munich East at 5:18 am today.

It is hard to believe that it has only been seventeen weeks since I quit my office job and fully committed to self-employment. Looking forward, I see a mountain of work and possibilities for improvement; looking back, I wonder how I managed to experience and set up all of this in such a short time. The first weeks felt like survival mode, completely overwhelmed and driven by the fear of failure and not meeting the expectations of those around me. Questions like “How many people have signed up for the tour?” “Is it going well?” and “Can you live off it?” drove me from one crisis to the next. Suddenly, I was no longer sure if Shanti Treks could be successful.

After two trains and a bus, I arrive in Sellrain just after nine o’clock. From the bus stop, a nice Italian couple gives me a ride to the parking lot at the end of the road, and I start hiking up the small trail to Schaflegerkogel. At first, my legs feel a bit stiff, but I know that after the first twenty minutes uphill, I will fall into my usual rhythm, and my body will work on its own. By now my pace has settled. Without realizing it much, I have become a lot faster over the past few months, lost weight, and built muscle. Only recently did I notice that I have not been sick for over two years. And in the morning, when I look in the mirror, I find myself beautiful again. That’s what the mountains do to you – they make you healthy and beautiful.

It is my first time alone in the Alps this year, and I am reminded why I threw everything overboard and started anew with Shanti Treks. At the top of Schaflegerkogel, I am completely alone; only a trail runner passes by briefly, takes a few photos, and is gone again. I lie down on the grass and catch up on some sleep while the bells of grazing cows ring in the valley. Next to the summit cross is a small grassy area where I spread out my yoga mat. If hiking has cleared my mind in recent years, my regular yoga classes with Mie in Bonn have grounded me. In the mountains or on the yoga mat, my problems do not go away, but they seem smaller and less significant than before. 

So, my tours are still not fully booked, but I no longer fear failure or not meeting expectations that, in the end, no one really has. Most people are just curious about how things are going with self-employment. But now I know that I am successful because I am happy and healthy, find myself beautiful, and fully enjoy what I do. Because every day is a little adventure, because I do exactly what I love, consciously live each day and no longer wait for the weekend. Not much has changed, only my attitude, and I know I owe it to the mountains. I do not know how they do it, but the mountains have been the place where I heal – physically and mentally – for decades. The place I always return to find balance that is so easily lost in the valley. And that is exactly what I want to pass on to my guests.

I take my time descending, stopping again and again to enjoy the great panoramic view of the Stubai Alps, and arrive at the Potsdamer Hütte in the afternoon. There, I am warmly welcomed by the hut couple, Sven and Ira. Last year, I was at the Potsdamer Hütte for the first time, as part of the Sellrain Hut Trail. Back then, I fell in love with the small hut at the end of the Fotschertal. The hut has only 40 beds but was completely renovated after a fire six years ago and is sustainably powered by a hydropower plant. The menu features, besides pine-flavoured lemonade and spritz, a pine-flavoured shandy, which I enjoy on the sun terrace while Sven and I discuss some details for the retreat.

We sleep in  shared bedrooms that we share only within our group. These rooms in the Potsdamer Hütte are spacious and bright, and located on the first floor. On the ground floor, there are toilets, the kitchen, and the cozy dining room with a wood stove, where we eat together in the morning and evening. With so few guests, conversations start quickly, and I met a few nice hikers during these days. In the basement, there are modern washing facilities, including a hot shower. For the brave among us, there is a cool-down in the creek next to the hut.

Sven cooks himself at the hut, and Ira bakes wonderfully delicious cakes. In the evening, I am convinced by the vegetarian cauliflower curry and the spaghetti ice cream cake for dessert.

For breakfast, there is homemade bread, jam, and vegan spreads. The butter comes directly from the cows grazing around the hut. Muesli is enjoyed either with fresh yogurt from a farm in the valley or with oat milk. Vegetarian and vegan dishes are nowadays the norm at Potsdamer Hütte.

I retreat early since I plan to hike the other two-day tours of our retreat the next day. Still, I do not miss the chance to start the day quietly behind the hut and celebrate my morning yoga session. It is truly a feast to stretch the stiff legs with a view of the surrounding mountain scenery in the early morning dew and silently look forward to the day.

After breakfast, I first continue into the Fotschertal to the pass of Wildkopf. On the ascent, a shepherd overtakes me, bringing his goats down from the mountain. It is quite a spectacle to see how, with just his calling, not only the goats but also the cows and sheep descend from the slopes to him. At the top of the pass, I encounter another herd of sheep, yet no other people in sight. And once again, I feel very rich in solitude.

Back at the hut, I refill my water before heading to the Roter Kogel. From the hut, the path leads to a plateau with countless little lakes where sheep, cows, and a herd of horses graze. On the last few meters, I finally see a few people who have climbed to the summit from the other side up the valley. On the descent, I have just enough time to do some yoga, swim in one of the lakes, and return to the hut in time before the kitchen closes for a few hours in the afternoon to prepare dinner. With the best cheese dumplings on salad and another pine-flavoured radler, I review the past two days.

The long way back to the valley is unavoidable, and there is no car left at the car park at this hour, so I walk the entire way back to Sellrain on foot. After nearly thirty kilometers and alltogether four thousand meters of up and down, I am absolutely done and fall into my bed pretty tired and happy. Fortunately, the next train to the mountains only leaves at half-past eight in the morning.